Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
