I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
