He had one of those small greek statue penises
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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