I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize