This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
