i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
