I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
