We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
