need another drink. this is the easiest way
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
