Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
