we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
