Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
