Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you have to choose: penises or morals?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
