covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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