Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
