let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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