Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
