I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
did i just pee glitter
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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