ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize