32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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