There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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