I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
