Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize