I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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