would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
