Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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