So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
