please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
