saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
