I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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