she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize