I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
