hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize