what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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