erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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