You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
do nipples grow back?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
