It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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