hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
