Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
