Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
