i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize