A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
