please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
