I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
