chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
