Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
