I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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