my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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