shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We left the knife in your bed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
