Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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