Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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