Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
