good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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