I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
