Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
