just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
