I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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