I want to walk on stilts...naked
Welp...herpes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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