I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i permit you to call me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
