well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
