cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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