i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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