dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
