I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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