Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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