you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
