I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize