im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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