He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fuck appropriateness.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
