Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize