we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
