I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
