my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
