I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
