This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
