He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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