i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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